15th May - The consequences of jumping are fatal and tragic

This was (as the now bankrupt former Dragons Denner Rachel Elnaugh more would say) a red letter day.
Hank reminded us all of his presence and the hangover made us get up late but we paid no mind and headed back to North Beach and Coit Tower. This place was built with cash from the deceased and seemingly nutty Lizzie Coit who left a third of her large wealth for the betterment of San Fran. Good on the old boot!
The tower affords pretty spectacular three-sixty views of the city taking in Alcatraz, the city centre, loads of water and a foxy lady that we'll talk about in good time.
But first we had to park up and figure up how to get there. I decided to ask a fifty year old power-walker with a mouth like Jaws from James Bond who was very helpful and lovely and told us to take the scenic route. Then we did the awkward thing of saying thanks, bye etc and walking in the same direction and pace as the other person and having nothing to say to them.
We were ill-prepared for what lay in wait for us following the lady's ill advice that we should walk up to the tower. There is a very famous and scenic street called Lombard street that looks like this:













Instead we got to climb what was, at a conservative estimate, about 50 million steps. No jokes. Tenner bet. Ask my mum.
I didn't mind and was (very) annoyingly running up the buggers two at a time and looking back at the other two who were somewhat less enthusiastic about the ascent. We eventually got to the top and into a lift (5 dorrar) up the monument to generous eccentricity. 'I hope it makes it dis time' parroted the lift guy for, no exaggeration ask my tenner, the 50 millionth time. For me this concern was genuine as it was, to say the least, an antiquated beast. I also developed the early onset of claustrophobia as the further south you go, the fatter Americans get and we were fair packed in to this 'elevator'. Breathless and red I got out just before i thought I'd pass out for no good reason at all. We got some good views through tiny wee windows.














Now the real sightseeing could begin.

We were eight miles away but i could hear her calling to me in the wind. 'Come walk 'pon my back, feel my cables in your human hands, press your warm face 'gainst my cold towers, marvel at my parabola gradient...' she seemed to say.

There was no way I could drive so Ian took charge of the vehicle as we were going to sight numero one on my list and I needed to soak it in.
















As she loomed in the distance I couldn't believe she was so close after seeing so many pictures and films. We drove across to North Vista Point which was absolutely freezing as the sun was about to set, then drove through a tunnel with a rainbow on it from the Dirty Harry films. We could now drive back over to the Presidio side and my all too brief fling could begin.
















It was getting pretty chilly over this side as well but the views were fantastic on a clear day and as the sun said goodnight we stepped on with the various cyclists, joggers, tourists, budding suiciders and prom night kids. It truly is a magnificent structure and you can't really comprehend how much until you actually get on it and 'feel the heft' so to speak.
















I have to say that if I was a confused, desperate homosexual, this is where I would come to end it all. So if I ever tearily book a ticket to San Fran please MAKE THE CALL on my behalf.
It was very windy and I was giddy and thought that I looked like once of those wizard fellas in Lord Of The Rings with my jacket flapping about me dramatically as I demanded photo after photo be taken.
















When we got to the first tower I was idly looking over the edge when I thought I saw a diver swimming around the base of the great weight-transference structure. Then he leapt out of the water with a quick thrash of his tail and bit down hard on a seabird before dragging it under the water! Whaaa?! This was no human it was a seal/sea lion (I can't be sure, I'm no Terry Nutkins)!!!
And another!
And another!
Rapture and joy unbridled! They were all at it! Jumping out of the water and grabbing at birds! I told some nearby twenty-something tourists who appeared to have gone blind, gave up on them and alerted a nearby father and child combo who were equally excited by this unexpected treat.
Amazing.
Here's the tower we watched this from before the other two made me come home.















Then we ordered a fairly substandard take-away, got tickets to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at midnight, didn't go cos we were too tired and went to bed.
THANKS A LOT HANK